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Dear baby,

Plz be nice to ur mommy..

Supposely, Mommy should finish packing all the stuffs right now

But then ><

Pity ur mommy

Its only half..ops, no even half was done 

Desire to vomit is too high to handle

Cant simply eat ><

Not including back pain.. T_T

Not enough rest..mommy cant sleep last nyte

Find a right position to sleep is not an easy way

Give mommy a chance to finish this "packing" job dear..

Tomorrow we gonna have a long long journey

Hopefully everything will gonna be ok

U need to be strong as do as i am

Plz stick together with me till the end no matter what happen

#Mommy love u

Empty

Beautiful

Keajaiban Allah

Plz watch this video

http://youtu.be/eB3cMV70qSw

And read this blog

http://www.ciklaili.com/2011/05/perkembangan-bayi-dari-1-hingga-40.html?m=1

#Amazing 

#mommy love u 

Wait for me to come home

Loving can hurt

Loving can hurt sometimes

But it's the only thing that I know

When it gets hard

You know it can get hard sometimes

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me

Inside the pocket

Of your ripped jeans

Holdin' me closer

'Til our eyes meet

You won't ever be alone

Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal

Loving can mend your soul

And it's the only thing that I know (know)

I swear it will get easier

Remember that with every piece of ya

And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Our hearts were never broken

Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me

Inside the pocket

Of your ripped jeans

Holdin' me closer

'Til our eyes meet

You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me

That's OK, baby, only words bleed

Inside these pages you just hold me

And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home

Wait for me to come home

Wait for me to come home

Wait for me to come home

Oh you can fit me

Inside the necklace you got when you were 16

Next to your heartbeat

Where I should be

Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me

Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed

Inside these pages you just hold me

And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away

I will remember how you kissed me

Under the lamppost

Back on 6th street

Hearing you whisper through the phone,

"Wait for me to come home."

Once upon a time

I miss moment of my childhood

Mempunyai 5 org abg dan sorg adik..

Aku rindu saat kami semua masih belajar, semua berada di rumah

Abg blk time cuti sem..

Aku rindu saat abg aku paksa utk solat berjemaah sama2

Kami solat berjemaah ramai2 kt ruang tamu, selepas maghrib..abg aku bacakan Al-Quran

Alunan yg merdu..sedap didengar

Kemudian solat insyak..

Tiap2 subuh kena paksa bgn..solat sama2

Kemudian abg akn bacakan kitab

I miss that day

Aku begitu mengagumi abg2..

Aku rindu saat2 aku masih kecil perlukan perhatian dari diorang..

Aku plg suka tgk diorang berkumpul semua then mula bersembng macam2 topik..

Aku tumpang tadah telinga smbil gelak2 bila ada yg membuat lawak..

Kadang2 aku jd tukang serve air or makanan 

Bila abg2 mengikuti tabliq..dorang sentiasa on time solat di surau..

Bila dgr azan, semua pakata buat bodo jer

Skali dgr org iqamah..berlumba2 ambik wuduk pergi surau

I miss to see that moment t_t

Saat plg best bila menyambut hari raya..

Shari sebelum raya, semua sanak saudara berbuka puasa di rumak mek (nenek)

Bersembang sambil gelak..

Malam nye selepas solat tasbih di masjid, mula menjalankan edisi men mercun dan bunga api

Berasap dengan bunyi meletup 

Sgt havoc

Aku? Seronok tukar langsir dan tolong ma siapkan satee dan nasi impit

Dlu semua ma buat sendiri

Kami adik bradik sama2 tlg cucuk satee 

Abg akn berjaga untuk bakar satee

Selalu yg champion bakar satee, abg aku yg ke-3

Pagi raya semua pkat bgn awl utk solat sunat Raya..

Kami konvoi pkai satu kereta yg plg besar..

Tugas ak setiap tahun isikan biskut raya dlm balang sebelum pg solat..

Aku rindu saat memandang wajah2 abg dan sdare yg ceria di pagi raya..

Hubungan yg akrab...sukar untuk diganti

Kini semua tinggal kenangan..

Kdng2 aku rasa kesepian..aku sgt rindukan suasana keakraban sebuah keluarga

saat solat berjemaah ramai2

Dan rindu suasana yg aman dgn alunan Al-Quran 

Aku harap suasana tersebut akan kembali..mungkin dgn fmly aku sndri

InsyaAllah

#memory

Chandelier

Chandelier is a novel that i bought 3 months ago at PWTC with my husband..

Still remember he waits and takes a long time juz to pay this book..

Just now, i have desire to read it

Open it at first page..

My eyes saw something nice

#indeed

No one in this world is perfect

But there is always a room for improvement

Week 6

"Morning sickness"

Common word that i always hear at clinic

Know theoretically without knowning how it really feels

Some women experience this situasion

Some are not

And some are bad

It happen at early week 6th untill week 16th because of releasing of hormone known as hCG in the body

This hormone is indicator in urine pregnancy test..

Its existance will show positive result (2 red line)

How morning sickness feels?

Not as goos as theory

Feeling uncomfortable most of the time 

Nausea especially at early morning..

Unable to sleep at night

Everytime i eat, evrything will come out

Vomiting when i eat fatty, spicy food

All the "gulai" and curry  is not the best dish to eat

Wanna to drink or eat something that have acidic smell and taste like lemon, ginger.

Need to drink a lot of plain water to prevent constipation

The bad situation is when having loss of appetite..and at the same time, i need to eat to cover nausea

Until now i still dont what i really can eat 

Its like try n error

If the food is not suitable for my stomach,  a couple minutes after that, everything will come out (vomit)

Im cried

Feeling exhausted..

I cant let my stomach empty..desire to vomit is higher

But im tired to eat and vomit again

"Back pain"

Its become worse day by day

Wish someone can give a massage before i sleep 

"Feeling lazy"

This is really obvoius..feeling lazy to do things that i used to do

Having back pain and uncomfartable in the stomach, i prefer to lay down and try to sleep

Cant think properly

Cant act properly

Cant give a good respond like before

"Not compliant"

Its hard to comply to medicine

Folic acid, calcium, iron 

All these supplement is good at early pregnancy but hurm..

However, having all this pain so suddenly remind me of something

"There is "a life" inside ur body"

"Allah love u since pain is "penghapus dosa"

All these struggle is worth it..

How hard i need to hold all these nause, vomit, back pain & laziness

Mommy still love u

Keep strong with me..

Suara hati

Amat sukar utk mengubah persepsi seseorang..

Walau berpuluh kali even beratus2 kali kita lakukan kebaikan, manusia lebih mengingati kejahatan yg pernah kita lakukan..

Keadaan ini kadangkala nya menyukarkan seseorang itu untuk mencorak hidup baru..

Dibayangi persepsi negatif dari sekeliling dan insan terdekat..

Diam xbererti kita mengaku yg kita ini bersalah, diam bererti "nothing else i can say"

Setiap patah ayat adalah silap..

Setiap patah ayat adalah penipuan..

Setiap patah ayat adalah hipokrit..

Setiap patah ayat tidak boleh dipercayai..

Persepsi begini menyebabkan seseorang mengambil tindakan untuk berdiam diri

Manusia lebih cenderung inginkan kesempurnaan, 

Hakikat, setiap insan mempunyai kebaikan dan keburukan

Xsemua boleh menerima keburukan kita..

Lagi2 kita pernah lakukan kesilapan sblm ini,

Persepsi xakan berubah

Sampai satu tahap..pasrah..redha..

Close ur eyes and open ur heart

Even how far people run from urself, remember Allah is always there for u

Remembering Allah..Is the best way

He gave us soo much and no more we can ask for

N now, whenever i feel lost, there is whisper says "Allah give u a good life, a nice family, a better job, a beloved partner, and a life inside urself" embrace them and feel HIS love to u

Thanks Allah for giving them for me and thanks Allah for giving me an apportunity to create a better life 

Dear H, 143 and keep positive 

Take care 

Dear C, no matter what happen to me.. Plz be strong..mummy love u