Thursday, August 13, 2015


140815 1411

Dear baby,
Plz be nice to ur mommy..
Supposely, Mommy should finish packing all the stuffs right now
But then ><
Pity ur mommy
Its only half..ops, no even half was done 

Desire to vomit is too high to handle
Cant simply eat ><
Not including back pain.. T_T
Not enough rest..mommy cant sleep last nyte
Find a right position to sleep is not an easy way

Give mommy a chance to finish this "packing" job dear..
Tomorrow we gonna have a long long journey
Hopefully everything will gonna be ok

U need to be strong as do as i am
Plz stick together with me till the end no matter what happen

#Mommy love u


Wednesday, August 12, 2015


Keajaiban Allah
Plz watch this video

And read this blog

#mommy love u 

Wait for me to come home

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone

Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home

Oh you can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were 16
Next to your heartbeat
Where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,

"Wait for me to come home."

Once upon a time

I miss moment of my childhood

Mempunyai 5 org abg dan sorg adik..
Aku rindu saat kami semua masih belajar, semua berada di rumah
Abg blk time cuti sem..

Aku rindu saat abg aku paksa utk solat berjemaah sama2
Kami solat berjemaah ramai2 kt ruang tamu, selepas maghrib..abg aku bacakan Al-Quran
Alunan yg merdu..sedap didengar
Kemudian solat insyak..

Tiap2 subuh kena paksa bgn..solat sama2
Kemudian abg akn bacakan kitab
I miss that day

Aku begitu mengagumi abg2..
Aku rindu saat2 aku masih kecil perlukan perhatian dari diorang..
Aku plg suka tgk diorang berkumpul semua then mula bersembng macam2 topik..
Aku tumpang tadah telinga smbil gelak2 bila ada yg membuat lawak..
Kadang2 aku jd tukang serve air or makanan 

Bila abg2 mengikuti tabliq..dorang sentiasa on time solat di surau..
Bila dgr azan, semua pakata buat bodo jer
Skali dgr org iqamah..berlumba2 ambik wuduk pergi surau
I miss to see that moment t_t

Saat plg best bila menyambut hari raya..
Shari sebelum raya, semua sanak saudara berbuka puasa di rumak mek (nenek)
Bersembang sambil gelak..

Malam nye selepas solat tasbih di masjid, mula menjalankan edisi men mercun dan bunga api
Berasap dengan bunyi meletup 
Sgt havoc

Aku? Seronok tukar langsir dan tolong ma siapkan satee dan nasi impit
Dlu semua ma buat sendiri
Kami adik bradik sama2 tlg cucuk satee 
Abg akn berjaga untuk bakar satee
Selalu yg champion bakar satee, abg aku yg ke-3

Pagi raya semua pkat bgn awl utk solat sunat Raya..
Kami konvoi pkai satu kereta yg plg besar..
Tugas ak setiap tahun isikan biskut raya dlm balang sebelum pg solat..

Aku rindu saat memandang wajah2 abg dan sdare yg ceria di pagi raya..
Hubungan yg akrab...sukar untuk diganti

Kini semua tinggal kenangan..
Kdng2 aku rasa kesepian..aku sgt rindukan suasana keakraban sebuah keluarga
saat solat berjemaah ramai2
Dan rindu suasana yg aman dgn alunan Al-Quran 

Aku harap suasana tersebut akan kembali..mungkin dgn fmly aku sndri


Tuesday, August 11, 2015


Chandelier is a novel that i bought 3 months ago at PWTC with my husband..
Still remember he waits and takes a long time juz to pay this book..

Just now, i have desire to read it
Open it at first page..
My eyes saw something nice

No one in this world is perfect
But there is always a room for improvement

Week 6

"Morning sickness"
Common word that i always hear at clinic
Know theoretically without knowning how it really feels
Some women experience this situasion
Some are not
And some are bad

It happen at early week 6th untill week 16th because of releasing of hormone known as hCG in the body
This hormone is indicator in urine pregnancy test..
Its existance will show positive result (2 red line)

How morning sickness feels?
Not as goos as theory
Feeling uncomfortable most of the time 

Nausea especially at early morning..
Unable to sleep at night
Everytime i eat, evrything will come out
Vomiting when i eat fatty, spicy food
All the "gulai" and curry  is not the best dish to eat

Wanna to drink or eat something that have acidic smell and taste like lemon, ginger.
Need to drink a lot of plain water to prevent constipation

The bad situation is when having loss of appetite..and at the same time, i need to eat to cover nausea
Until now i still dont what i really can eat 
Its like try n error
If the food is not suitable for my stomach,  a couple minutes after that, everything will come out (vomit)
Im cried
Feeling exhausted..
I cant let my stomach empty..desire to vomit is higher
But im tired to eat and vomit again

"Back pain"
Its become worse day by day
Wish someone can give a massage before i sleep 

"Feeling lazy"
This is really obvoius..feeling lazy to do things that i used to do
Having back pain and uncomfartable in the stomach, i prefer to lay down and try to sleep
Cant think properly
Cant act properly
Cant give a good respond like before

"Not compliant"
Its hard to comply to medicine
Folic acid, calcium, iron 
All these supplement is good at early pregnancy but hurm..

However, having all this pain so suddenly remind me of something
"There is "a life" inside ur body"
"Allah love u since pain is "penghapus dosa"

All these struggle is worth it..
How hard i need to hold all these nause, vomit, back pain & laziness
Mommy still love u
Keep strong with me..

Monday, August 10, 2015

Suara hati

Amat sukar utk mengubah persepsi seseorang..

Walau berpuluh kali even beratus2 kali kita lakukan kebaikan, manusia lebih mengingati kejahatan yg pernah kita lakukan..
Keadaan ini kadangkala nya menyukarkan seseorang itu untuk mencorak hidup baru..
Dibayangi persepsi negatif dari sekeliling dan insan terdekat..

Diam xbererti kita mengaku yg kita ini bersalah, diam bererti "nothing else i can say"
Setiap patah ayat adalah silap..
Setiap patah ayat adalah penipuan..
Setiap patah ayat adalah hipokrit..
Setiap patah ayat tidak boleh dipercayai..
Persepsi begini menyebabkan seseorang mengambil tindakan untuk berdiam diri

Manusia lebih cenderung inginkan kesempurnaan, 
Hakikat, setiap insan mempunyai kebaikan dan keburukan
Xsemua boleh menerima keburukan kita..
Lagi2 kita pernah lakukan kesilapan sblm ini,
Persepsi xakan berubah

Sampai satu tahap..pasrah..redha..
Close ur eyes and open ur heart
Even how far people run from urself, remember Allah is always there for u
Remembering Allah..Is the best way

He gave us soo much and no more we can ask for

N now, whenever i feel lost, there is whisper says "Allah give u a good life, a nice family, a better job, a beloved partner, and a life inside urself" embrace them and feel HIS love to u

Thanks Allah for giving them for me and thanks Allah for giving me an apportunity to create a better life 

Dear H, 143 and keep positive 
Take care 
Dear C, no matter what happen to me.. Plz be strong..mummy love u 

Friday, July 31, 2015

This I promise u

Dedicate to my beloved one
My only hero
My love

This is what my heart want to say..

"When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart 
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes 
Each loving day 
I know this feeling won't go away 
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all.."

Every words i say is true..
This i promise u

I miss my other half..

Thursday, July 30, 2015


Time flies so fast,

Oct 2014,
Perancangn utk menyatukan 2 hati d'p'cptkan
Tanpa perbincangan yg panjang..
Jun➡️ Mei ➡️ Jan ➡️ Dec
Dengan izin Allah segala persiapan dipermudahkan..
Abg2 aku byk membantu dan menyokong ak..thx to them
Dalam tempoh 2 bulan,
Kami settlekan dokumen2 berkaitan dan beli cincin
Prosedur di kelantan sgt la senng..
Siapkn dokumen dan selebihnye tok imam uruskan

Pejam celik pejam celik

December dtg..
Aku menghitung hari..saat akan diijab kabul
Tiada majlis besar-besaran
Perancangannya majlis untuk keluarga, saudara dan jiran terdekat shja

Takdir Allah,
Seminggu sblm tarikh yg ditetapkan kelantan dilanda banjir
Banjir yg besar..
Perasaan tu, Tuhan je tahu
Tiap2 hari doa supaya dipermudahkan segala urusan
Lihat dgn mata kasar, org akn ckp
Majlis xakan berjalan
Saudara2 pn mula bersuara minta ditangguhkan
Tp hati tetap menaruh harapan 

Dugaan menimpa, 3 ari sebelum mjlis
Abah dan adik aku dilanda kecelakaan
Mereka terkandas di terengganu, kereta yg dinaiki hanyut 
Keadaan abah ak yg sedia sakit makin teruk
Hati aku merintih..
Dugaan dtg satu per satu
2 hari sebelum, jalan yg menghubungkan utara ke kelantan runtuh 
Abg2 dan kak ipar xdpt pulang
Harapan dorang untuk hadir saat aku diijab kabul terkandas..

Dugaan dtg lg bila jambatan sultan yahya terpaksa ditutup akibat bnjir
Keadaan berlaku dgn pantas
Semua org terkandas
Saudara dan fmly WMA xdpt hadir

WMA blk shari sblm dgn flight pagi
Ptg itu jmbtn ditutup
Hanya dea seorang
Aku agak ini pengalaman yg xdpt dilupakan

Dgn semua talian terputus, xdpt inform org luar or dlm keadaan semasa

Terlalu byk dugaan terjadi..terlalu pnjg utk ak cerita satu per satu
Satu2 nya wali aku, terpksa ditahan di wad
Kemudian dgn keadaan sakit yg amat, dea discharge sejam sebelum majlis untuk mewalikan aku
WMA terpksa hadir seorg diri tanpa ditemAni sesiapa 
Aku mula bersiap utk ke masjid stengah jam sebelum
Tanpa secalit makeup
Tanpa jurukamera yang merakam saat2 manis diijab kabul

Jika Allah da tetapkan jodoh kita, macam mana dugaan melanda..
Ia akn tetap berjalan
Alhamdulillah dgn sekali lafaz
Aku dgn rasminye menjadi isteri WMA dgn keadaan yg serba sederhana
Keadaan sayu dipihak WMA sendiri, menghadirkan diri alone bukan suatu yg mudah
Aku yakin rmai lelaki diluar sane xmmpu buat

Belum ckup satu hari aku berada dirumah sbgai isteri 
Ak terpaksa menjalankan tugas demi membantu mangsa banjir 

Aku satu2 nye pharmacist yg dpt dihubungi dan diperlukan di tempat2 perlindungan mangsa bnjir..
Dengan inai merah dijari, aku berkejaran mencari ubat disebabkan laluan ke klinik aku terpaksa ditutup

Keadaan agk huru hara..bekalan elektrik dan air terputus di kebanyakkan tempat

Keadaan abah yg semakin teruk..luka2 makin merebak
Aku dan abang bergilir2  melakukan dressing
Alhamdulillah WMA memahami keadaan aku
Dea berada disamping aku sehingga keadaan kembali reda
Berulang alik menghantar aku ke tempat kerja 
Saat yg memenatkan tapi indah bila dipikirkan kembali..

Kenangan yg xsemua orang alami

Semoga dugaan tersebut dpt dijadikan pengajaran pd kami semua
Allah sentiasa ada

Nikmat yg Allah bagi untuk kami terlalu byk utk dihitungkan kembali

I love Allah
I love Rasul
I love my husband
I love my family

Terlalu byk dugaan utk kami disatu2kan,
Secara peribadi terlalu rugi utk disia2kan
Pe yg tetapkan oleh Allah adalah yg terbaik

Semoga dugaan yang melanda kami suami isteri menjadikAn kami lebih kuat dan tabah untuk masa akan dtg

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Be strong

I finally learned what life is about..
Hanging on when ur heart had enough, and giving more when u wanna give up..

We're taking each step a day at time..
U cant lose ur spirit
Let live, forget and forgive
It's all how u see it
And just remember, keep it together

Dont u know u're never alone?

Plz hang on and BE STRONG

The fact is u're not defeated and
InsyaAllah soon u'll be smilling once again..
Then u wont have to feel it,
Let it go with wind..
Time passes us by

And know that u're allowed to cry

#plzbestrongdear #love

Monday, July 27, 2015

Life & hope

The moment u see no light, is the moment where the hope is gone

When that moment come..what u can do is "redha & pasrah"
Before u decide to do that..ask urself
Do u fight for it? Do u satisfy? Do u really cant bear with it? 

Remember..26th dec 2014
Ur dad came tu u n u really want to take this guy as ur husband and want to stay his side no matter what happen & being a good wife & mother ?
U confidently said "yes, i do"

U cant take that words back..marriage is not a place where u can try n not a place where u can simply take easy & is definitely not a place where u can play around!
Once u in, u in till the end

But women's heart..when u read..
"Pemberian terakhir"
Its jus two words, but its meAn so much
Deep deep deeply hurt..

How bad i used to be, im still a woman who have a fragile heart

I dnt ask for it just for myself..i ask since i want to build a real family..
Not a year but forever..

#Words that u cant take it back
Its more hurt when u cant think bout ur own self anymore and try to turn it positively by saying "all these thing happen is becoz of me"

"Nie semua balasan"..i dnt know how this words will go ><

When u feel darkness in ur life..there is whisper in ur heart
"Allah is always by ur side, HE dont put urself in situation where u cant handle it by urself..wake up & be strong"

Thanks to Allah

What works for u might works for u alone..

Different people having different characteristic
Dont assume they are same with you..

"Kita xbleh paksa org hidup mcm kita. Tak adil, namanya

Sunday, July 26, 2015

WMA #12

I love him so much ><
May Allah give us a strong heart
May Allah protect our marriage
May Allah give him a strength
May Allah forgive my mistakes
May Allah keep us together till the end
May Allah show us a right path
May Allah give us a happiness 



Thursday, July 23, 2015

My life

Dear heart, plz be strong

Its been a long time im not coming here..its like yesterday that im so happy to get enggaged..
Yes i do

Now, i already married
To someone i cherish the most
To someone i love so much
To someone i thought can always accept me
To someone can make me strong
To someone can guide me tru this terrible life

I know Allah's plan is the matter what happen i need to be strong and 'redha'

I try my best to be a good wife..
I do make mistakes before..a bad mistakes in my life by believing a person called  a man
I ruin my life..

I thought i'll be alone..nobody can accept me
Until my heart was open to someone.. A nice guy..i thank to Allah
HE still love me by sending him to me
Till now i still cant believe i married with him..
I juz move and follow the flow without knowing 'life is not always be at ur side'

When the past was revealed, im stuck
I dnt know what to do..
I dont know by keep quite make things worse
I juz love him so much..i juz want to be happy with him

I used to be bad..that the old me
I regret what was i did but it is too late?

May Allah open his heart to accept my past
Thats was my past, i cant change it
He married a new girl..><

We cant change people's heart..
What we can do is keep believing in Allah no matter what happen..

Indeed im hurt ..#crying