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140815 1411

Dear baby,

Plz be nice to ur mommy..

Supposely, Mommy should finish packing all the stuffs right now

But then ><

Pity ur mommy

Its only half..ops, no even half was done 

Desire to vomit is too high to handle

Cant simply eat ><

Not including back pain.. T_T

Not enough rest..mommy cant sleep last nyte

Find a right position to sleep is not an easy way

Give mommy a chance to finish this "packing" job dear..

Tomorrow we gonna have a long long journey

Hopefully everything will gonna be ok

U need to be strong as do as i am

Plz stick together with me till the end no matter what happen

#Mommy love u

Empty

Beautiful

Keajaiban Allah

Plz watch this video

http://youtu.be/eB3cMV70qSw

And read this blog

http://www.ciklaili.com/2011/05/perkembangan-bayi-dari-1-hingga-40.html?m=1

#Amazing 

#mommy love u 

Wait for me to come home

Loving can hurt

Loving can hurt sometimes

But it's the only thing that I know

When it gets hard

You know it can get hard sometimes

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me

Inside the pocket

Of your ripped jeans

Holdin' me closer

'Til our eyes meet

You won't ever be alone

Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal

Loving can mend your soul

And it's the only thing that I know (know)

I swear it will get easier

Remember that with every piece of ya

And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Our hearts were never broken

Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me

Inside the pocket

Of your ripped jeans

Holdin' me closer

'Til our eyes meet

You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me

That's OK, baby, only words bleed

Inside these pages you just hold me

And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home

Wait for me to come home

Wait for me to come home

Wait for me to come home

Oh you can fit me

Inside the necklace you got when you were 16

Next to your heartbeat

Where I should be

Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me

Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed

Inside these pages you just hold me

And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away

I will remember how you kissed me

Under the lamppost

Back on 6th street

Hearing you whisper through the phone,

"Wait for me to come home."

Once upon a time

I miss moment of my childhood

Mempunyai 5 org abg dan sorg adik..

Aku rindu saat kami semua masih belajar, semua berada di rumah

Abg blk time cuti sem..

Aku rindu saat abg aku paksa utk solat berjemaah sama2

Kami solat berjemaah ramai2 kt ruang tamu, selepas maghrib..abg aku bacakan Al-Quran

Alunan yg merdu..sedap didengar

Kemudian solat insyak..

Tiap2 subuh kena paksa bgn..solat sama2

Kemudian abg akn bacakan kitab

I miss that day

Aku begitu mengagumi abg2..

Aku rindu saat2 aku masih kecil perlukan perhatian dari diorang..

Aku plg suka tgk diorang berkumpul semua then mula bersembng macam2 topik..

Aku tumpang tadah telinga smbil gelak2 bila ada yg membuat lawak..

Kadang2 aku jd tukang serve air or makanan 

Bila abg2 mengikuti tabliq..dorang sentiasa on time solat di surau..

Bila dgr azan, semua pakata buat bodo jer

Skali dgr org iqamah..berlumba2 ambik wuduk pergi surau

I miss to see that moment t_t

Saat plg best bila menyambut hari raya..

Shari sebelum raya, semua sanak saudara berbuka puasa di rumak mek (nenek)

Bersembang sambil gelak..

Malam nye selepas solat tasbih di masjid, mula menjalankan edisi men mercun dan bunga api

Berasap dengan bunyi meletup 

Sgt havoc

Aku? Seronok tukar langsir dan tolong ma siapkan satee dan nasi impit

Dlu semua ma buat sendiri

Kami adik bradik sama2 tlg cucuk satee 

Abg akn berjaga untuk bakar satee

Selalu yg champion bakar satee, abg aku yg ke-3

Pagi raya semua pkat bgn awl utk solat sunat Raya..

Kami konvoi pkai satu kereta yg plg besar..

Tugas ak setiap tahun isikan biskut raya dlm balang sebelum pg solat..

Aku rindu saat memandang wajah2 abg dan sdare yg ceria di pagi raya..

Hubungan yg akrab...sukar untuk diganti

Kini semua tinggal kenangan..

Kdng2 aku rasa kesepian..aku sgt rindukan suasana keakraban sebuah keluarga

saat solat berjemaah ramai2

Dan rindu suasana yg aman dgn alunan Al-Quran 

Aku harap suasana tersebut akan kembali..mungkin dgn fmly aku sndri

InsyaAllah

#memory

Chandelier

Chandelier is a novel that i bought 3 months ago at PWTC with my husband..

Still remember he waits and takes a long time juz to pay this book..

Just now, i have desire to read it

Open it at first page..

My eyes saw something nice

#indeed

No one in this world is perfect

But there is always a room for improvement

Week 6

"Morning sickness"

Common word that i always hear at clinic

Know theoretically without knowning how it really feels

Some women experience this situasion

Some are not

And some are bad

It happen at early week 6th untill week 16th because of releasing of hormone known as hCG in the body

This hormone is indicator in urine pregnancy test..

Its existance will show positive result (2 red line)

How morning sickness feels?

Not as goos as theory

Feeling uncomfortable most of the time 

Nausea especially at early morning..

Unable to sleep at night

Everytime i eat, evrything will come out

Vomiting when i eat fatty, spicy food

All the "gulai" and curry  is not the best dish to eat

Wanna to drink or eat something that have acidic smell and taste like lemon, ginger.

Need to drink a lot of plain water to prevent constipation

The bad situation is when having loss of appetite..and at the same time, i need to eat to cover nausea

Until now i still dont what i really can eat 

Its like try n error

If the food is not suitable for my stomach,  a couple minutes after that, everything will come out (vomit)

Im cried

Feeling exhausted..

I cant let my stomach empty..desire to vomit is higher

But im tired to eat and vomit again

"Back pain"

Its become worse day by day

Wish someone can give a massage before i sleep 

"Feeling lazy"

This is really obvoius..feeling lazy to do things that i used to do

Having back pain and uncomfartable in the stomach, i prefer to lay down and try to sleep

Cant think properly

Cant act properly

Cant give a good respond like before

"Not compliant"

Its hard to comply to medicine

Folic acid, calcium, iron 

All these supplement is good at early pregnancy but hurm..

However, having all this pain so suddenly remind me of something

"There is "a life" inside ur body"

"Allah love u since pain is "penghapus dosa"

All these struggle is worth it..

How hard i need to hold all these nause, vomit, back pain & laziness

Mommy still love u

Keep strong with me..

Suara hati

Amat sukar utk mengubah persepsi seseorang..

Walau berpuluh kali even beratus2 kali kita lakukan kebaikan, manusia lebih mengingati kejahatan yg pernah kita lakukan..

Keadaan ini kadangkala nya menyukarkan seseorang itu untuk mencorak hidup baru..

Dibayangi persepsi negatif dari sekeliling dan insan terdekat..

Diam xbererti kita mengaku yg kita ini bersalah, diam bererti "nothing else i can say"

Setiap patah ayat adalah silap..

Setiap patah ayat adalah penipuan..

Setiap patah ayat adalah hipokrit..

Setiap patah ayat tidak boleh dipercayai..

Persepsi begini menyebabkan seseorang mengambil tindakan untuk berdiam diri

Manusia lebih cenderung inginkan kesempurnaan, 

Hakikat, setiap insan mempunyai kebaikan dan keburukan

Xsemua boleh menerima keburukan kita..

Lagi2 kita pernah lakukan kesilapan sblm ini,

Persepsi xakan berubah

Sampai satu tahap..pasrah..redha..

Close ur eyes and open ur heart

Even how far people run from urself, remember Allah is always there for u

Remembering Allah..Is the best way

He gave us soo much and no more we can ask for

N now, whenever i feel lost, there is whisper says "Allah give u a good life, a nice family, a better job, a beloved partner, and a life inside urself" embrace them and feel HIS love to u

Thanks Allah for giving them for me and thanks Allah for giving me an apportunity to create a better life 

Dear H, 143 and keep positive 

Take care 

Dear C, no matter what happen to me.. Plz be strong..mummy love u 

This I promise u

Dedicate to my beloved one

My only one..my hero

My love

#WMA

This is what my heart want to say..

"When the visions around you,

Bring tears to your eyes

And all that surround you,

Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength,

I'll give you hope,

Keeping your faith when it's gone

The one you should call,

Was standing here all along..

And I will take

You in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

Till the day my life is through

This I promise you

I've loved you forever,

In lifetimes before

And I promise you never...

Will you hurt anymore

I give you my word

I give you my heart 

This is a battle we've won

And with this vow,

Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes 

Each loving day 

I know this feeling won't go away 

Till the day my life is through

This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)

When I hear you call

Without you in my life baby

I just wouldn't be living at all.."

http://youtu.be/e3pzIzlcCMs

Every words i say is true..

This i promise u

*Indeed

I miss my other half..

26dec14

Time flies so fast,

Oct 2014,

Perancangn utk menyatukan 2 hati d'p'cptkan

Tanpa perbincangan yg panjang..

Jun➡️ Mei ➡️ Jan ➡️ Dec

Dengan izin Allah segala persiapan dipermudahkan..

Abg2 aku byk membantu dan menyokong ak..thx to them

Dalam tempoh 2 bulan,

Kami settlekan dokumen2 berkaitan dan beli cincin

Prosedur di kelantan sgt la senng..

Siapkn dokumen dan selebihnye tok imam uruskan

Pejam celik pejam celik

December dtg..

Aku menghitung hari..saat akan diijab kabul

Tiada majlis besar-besaran

Perancangannya majlis untuk keluarga, saudara dan jiran terdekat shja

Takdir Allah,

Seminggu sblm tarikh yg ditetapkan kelantan dilanda banjir

Banjir yg besar..

Perasaan tu, Tuhan je tahu

Tiap2 hari doa supaya dipermudahkan segala urusan

Lihat dgn mata kasar, org akn ckp

Majlis xakan berjalan

Saudara2 pn mula bersuara minta ditangguhkan

Tp hati tetap menaruh harapan 

Namun,

Dugaan menimpa, 3 ari sebelum mjlis

Abah dan adik aku dilanda kecelakaan

Mereka terkandas di terengganu, kereta yg dinaiki hanyut 

Keadaan abah ak yg sedia sakit makin teruk

Hati aku merintih..

Dugaan dtg satu per satu

2 hari sebelum, jalan yg menghubungkan utara ke kelantan runtuh 

Abg2 dan kak ipar xdpt pulang

Harapan dorang untuk hadir saat aku diijab kabul terkandas..

Dugaan dtg lg bila jambatan sultan yahya terpaksa ditutup akibat bnjir

Keadaan berlaku dgn pantas

Semua org terkandas

Saudara dan fmly WMA xdpt hadir

WMA blk shari sblm dgn flight pagi

Ptg itu jmbtn ditutup

Hanya dea seorang

Aku agak ini pengalaman yg xdpt dilupakan

Dgn semua talian terputus, xdpt inform org luar or dlm keadaan semasa

Terlalu byk dugaan terjadi..terlalu pnjg utk ak cerita satu per satu

Satu2 nya wali aku, terpksa ditahan di wad

Kemudian dgn keadaan sakit yg amat, dea discharge sejam sebelum majlis untuk mewalikan aku

WMA terpksa hadir seorg diri tanpa ditemAni sesiapa 

Aku mula bersiap utk ke masjid stengah jam sebelum

Tanpa secalit makeup

Tanpa jurukamera yang merakam saat2 manis diijab kabul

Namun,

Jika Allah da tetapkan jodoh kita, macam mana dugaan melanda..

Ia akn tetap berjalan

Alhamdulillah dgn sekali lafaz

Aku dgn rasminye menjadi isteri WMA dgn keadaan yg serba sederhana

Keadaan sayu dipihak WMA sendiri, menghadirkan diri alone bukan suatu yg mudah

Aku yakin rmai lelaki diluar sane xmmpu buat

Belum ckup satu hari aku berada dirumah sbgai isteri 

Ak terpaksa menjalankan tugas demi membantu mangsa banjir 

Aku satu2 nye pharmacist yg dpt dihubungi dan diperlukan di tempat2 perlindungan mangsa bnjir..

Dengan inai merah dijari, aku berkejaran mencari ubat disebabkan laluan ke klinik aku terpaksa ditutup

Keadaan agk huru hara..bekalan elektrik dan air terputus di kebanyakkan tempat

Keadaan abah yg semakin teruk..luka2 makin merebak

Aku dan abang bergilir2  melakukan dressing

Alhamdulillah WMA memahami keadaan aku

Dea berada disamping aku sehingga keadaan kembali reda

Berulang alik menghantar aku ke tempat kerja 

Saat yg memenatkan tapi indah bila dipikirkan kembali..

Kenangan yg xsemua orang alami

Semoga dugaan tersebut dpt dijadikan pengajaran pd kami semua

Allah sentiasa ada

Nikmat yg Allah bagi untuk kami terlalu byk utk dihitungkan kembali

I love Allah

I love Rasul

I love my husband

I love my family

Terlalu byk dugaan utk kami disatu2kan,

Secara peribadi terlalu rugi utk disia2kan

Pe yg tetapkan oleh Allah adalah yg terbaik

Semoga dugaan yang melanda kami suami isteri menjadikAn kami lebih kuat dan tabah untuk masa akan dtg

Be strong

I finally learned what life is about..

Hanging on when ur heart had enough, and giving more when u wanna give up..

Indeed,

We're taking each step a day at time..

U cant lose ur spirit

Let live, forget and forgive

It's all how u see it

And just remember, keep it together

Dont u know u're never alone?

Plz hang on and BE STRONG

The fact is u're not defeated and

InsyaAllah soon u'll be smilling once again..

Then u wont have to feel it,

Let it go with wind..

Time passes us by

And know that u're allowed to cry

#plzbestrongdear #love

Life & hope

The moment u see no light, is the moment where the hope is gone

When that moment come..what u can do is "redha & pasrah"

Before u decide to do that..ask urself

Do u fight for it? Do u satisfy? Do u really cant bear with it? 

Remember..26th dec 2014

Ur dad came tu u n ask..do u really want to take this guy as ur husband and want to stay his side no matter what happen & being a good wife & mother ?

U confidently said "yes, i do"

U cant take that words back..marriage is not a place where u can try n error..is not a place where u can simply take easy & is definitely not a place where u can play around!

Once u in, u in till the end

 

But women's heart..when u read..

"Pemberian terakhir"

Its jus two words, but its meAn so much

Deep deep deeply hurt..

How bad i used to be, im still a woman who have a fragile heart

I dnt ask for it just for myself..i ask since i want to build a real family..

Not a year but forever..

#Words that u cant take it back

Its more hurt when u cant think bout ur own self anymore and try to turn it positively by saying "all these thing happen is becoz of me"

"Nie semua balasan"..i dnt know how this words will go ><

When u feel darkness in ur life..there is whisper in ur heart

"Allah is always by ur side, HE dont put urself in situation where u cant handle it by urself..wake up & be strong"

Thanks to Allah

What works for u might works for u alone..

Different people having different characteristic

Dont assume they are same with you..

"Kita xbleh paksa org hidup mcm kita. Tak adil, namanya

WMA #12

I love him so much ><

May Allah give us a strong heart

May Allah protect our marriage

May Allah give him a strength

May Allah forgive my mistakes

May Allah keep us together till the end

May Allah show us a right path

May Allah give us a happiness 

Amin....

#ucan'tgiveup

My life

Dear heart, plz be strong

Its been a long time im not coming here..its like yesterday that im so happy to get enggaged..

Yes i do

Now, i already married

To someone i cherish the most

To someone i love so much

To someone i thought can always accept me

To someone can make me strong

To someone can guide me tru this terrible life

I know Allah's plan is the best..no matter what happen i need to be strong and 'redha'

I try my best to be a good wife..

I do make mistakes before..a bad mistakes in my life by believing a person called  a man

I ruin my life..

I thought i'll be alone..nobody can accept me

Until my heart was open to someone.. A nice guy..i thank to Allah

HE still love me by sending him to me

Till now i still cant believe i married with him..

I juz move and follow the flow without knowing 'life is not always be at ur side'

When the past was revealed, im stuck

t_t

I dnt know what to do..

I dont know by keep quite make things worse

I juz love him so much..i juz want to be happy with him

I used to be bad..that the old me

I regret what was i did but it is too late?

May Allah open his heart to accept my past

Thats was my past, i cant change it

He married a new girl..><

But..

We cant change people's heart..

What we can do is keep believing in Allah no matter what happen..

Indeed im hurt ..#crying